Walking Rocks?

Query: When I was in Death Valley earlier this year, I saw some enormous 750-pound rocks that appear to travel across the desert on their own. I remembered your article about rock tortoises, and wondered if that’s what these rocks could be?

Corn of Plenty (Part 4 of 4): A Field Guide by Dr. Midas Welby

Corns of the Air: Air-corns utilize their horns for jousting, playing tic-tac-toe, and spearing food in mid-flight. Air-corns often lurk undetected in trees, wood piles, and rain gutters. When bored, they use their horns to ring the doorbells of unsuspecting humans. When the door begins to open, the air-corn flies away.


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Corn of Plenty (Part 2 of 4): A Field Guide by Dr. Midas Welby

Corns of the Sea: Modern horned creatures, or ‘corns’ are marvelous beings. As with the prehistoric Cornonexochida, many of these rare species dwell in the remote depths of our seas. The most well-known of the water corns is the clamocorn. This is not the musical instrument that your brother tried to play but got too frustrated. It is a mollusk. Like its cousin the clam, this mollusk is reluctant to be plucked from its watery abode and consumed as chowder. Unlike the clam, this clamocorn is spring-loaded. The shell can fly open, gouging predators with a razor-sharp spire. It not only can – it will. Take my word for it.

The bearded clamocorn is equally averse to becoming chowder. It has a second, opposing horn that looms on its ventral valve. If anyone attempts to handle or examine this water corn, it is doubly prepared. As should you be - with elastic bandages and a stack of gauze.

The giant octocorn is a cephalopod mollusk with an oversized noggin. It has four pairs of arms, three hearts, two eyes, and a single, hollow horn. It uses this horn to pierce prey. The horn also shoots forth jets of caustic ink, which blind, deafen, scald, maim, and inflict anguish on all enemies within a fifty-yard radius.

The shy crabacorn - quaint and colorful - is also well-fortified against its enemies. A red horn, located directly between the eyes, rises thin and spear-like from its carapace. The horn can reach a height of two feet, which prevents the crabacorn from entering traps and being pulled to the surface.

The Krakencorn is a squid of monstrous proportions. Using its horn, it pierces the undersides of ships, flooding them. Evidence suggests that a Krakencorn - not an iceberg - was responsible for the sinking of the Titanic. The Krakencorn is long-lived, and it does not hesitate to exact revenge on humans for perceived wrongs. That includes the ocean being used as a rubbish heap. Expect another Krak-attack soon. - DR. MIDAS WELBY, Visiting Contributor to Iranigami

NOTE FROM GWYNEACH: Although Dr. Welby was miffed that one of our other contributors disagreed with his opinions on the nature of unicorns, he has most graciously agreed to continue his series on single-horned Imaginaries in this space.

Corn of Plenty copyright 2014 by Courtney Johnson.


Copyright © 2012, 2013, 2014 by Penelope Stowell. All rights reserved. This website is a work of fiction and does not depict any actual persons, creatures, places or events.