Walking Rocks?

Query: When I was in Death Valley earlier this year, I saw some enormous 750-pound rocks that appear to travel across the desert on their own. I remembered your article about rock tortoises, and wondered if that’s what these rocks could be?

Corn of Plenty (Part 4 of 4): A Field Guide by Dr. Midas Welby

Corns of the Air: Air-corns utilize their horns for jousting, playing tic-tac-toe, and spearing food in mid-flight. Air-corns often lurk undetected in trees, wood piles, and rain gutters. When bored, they use their horns to ring the doorbells of unsuspecting humans. When the door begins to open, the air-corn flies away.


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Going On Hiatus

December 6, 2014: I am loving college, but I have to admit, I’m overwhelmed.

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Pine Cone Feeders

A Present For Imaginaries: When winter comes, I get concerned about providing extra shelter from the elements for Imaginaries. Recently, I read about people who build wildlife brush shelters out of branches and plants in their yards, and thought this was a great idea.

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Imprisoned Imaginaries

Abandoned and Alone: Can you imagine confining an animal as free-ranging and magnificent as a dragon to a cage much like the one in this photo? That’s exactly what a thoughtless collector of imaginary animals did. Recently, a private zoo in northern Colorado was raided by federal and Iranigami agents, working in cooperation.

Unfortunately, the collector succeeded in setting all of the animals in his zoo free before the agents arrived. However, an examination of scat, uneaten food, bits of scale and hair, and other markings left in the cages indicated that this wealthy individual had accrued a massive collection of endangered, exotic and Imaginary animals, including one or two roperites, a unicorn, several wapaloosies, and at least five species of dragons.

Most of these animals were confined to small cages or kennels, and as far as we can tell, unable to move around or exercise properly. The condition of the scat, hair and scales also indicates that most of them were also in poor health, and compromised by their confinement.

While two of the dragons have already been tracked down and recovered, we have been unable to locate most of the released animals, as they were set free in a wild and inaccessible area of the mountains. Animals that have been kept in captivity for too long have few skills for living in the wild, such as how to hunt or forage for food. Coupled with their weakened condition, their ability to survive for very long without our help is unclear.

Animals that are hungry and weak are also more dangerous and desperate than those who are well-fed and healthy. If you live anywhere in the Western United States, please do NOT go looking for these Imaginaries yourself, as their behavior may be aggressive and erratic. Instead, we ask that you report evidence of any suspicious animal activity in your area directly to us. This can include wildfires that may have been set by a dragon, unusual tracks, or signs that a creature other than a bear has been raiding your trash.

The good news is that the collector is now in federal custody, and enough evidence has been gathered proving his involvement in the illegal possession and trade of exotic and endangered species that we expect his prosecution will be successful. - CHIMERA, Senior Iranigami enforcement agent


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